Revenant by Laura Ferreira
My excerpt for Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday. Click on over to these talented writers to preview some amazing stories!
A dark twist on the origins of the tooth fairy. To read Part One, click on Revenant.
Featured Artist:Laura Ferreira
Inspiring Soundtrack: James Newton Howard -Death Favors No Man – Snow White & the Huntsman
Thodia
The tale of my origin spread across the lands, spilling from the lips of mortal parents into the eager ears of their gullible young. Over the centuries my legend adapted – keeping to the oral tradition of storytelling – it evolved farther away from truth.
The truth is not nearly as lyrical.
Millennia ago, on the island of Crete, there lived a fearful king whose youngest daughter was drowned in the Aegean Sea by a vengeful sea god. The king, mad with grief, petitioned the Gods for the means to resurrect his lost child. An oracle was charged with the task of creating a revenant that would enable her spirit to return from the grave.
Though the young girl’s life had been restored, the frightening entity showed little resemblance to the king’s beloved child.
Her innocent soul, pulled from peace and poisoned with dark magic, was imprisoned in the body of a monster.
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© 2013 Samantha Redstreake Geary
I appreciate feedback, so comment, critique or just banter to your heart’s content! Should you leave a really awesome comment, I may share my fair-trade, shade-grown, bird-sanctuary, organic coffee with you:) Or, if you leave a link to your site, I can just pop in and say something witty after polishing off a cup or two!
WriterlySam 
This is so interesting. How is she going to be rescued now, I wonder. Is it enough to kill the monster or would it hurt her too?
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Thanks Linda! I’m wondering that myself:) Stay tuned!
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Of course, I’ll be back !
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Nice—well, not nice, exactly, but well-written and very interesting. 😀
I wonder if she became the monster she looks like,or something more?
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Haha, Sarah – this is a bit darker than your average fairy tale! Great question – perhaps we’ll find out next week:)
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Intriguing beginning. Really like it. 🙂
Had a problem with one sentence: “The king’s progeny had returned, though the frightening entity showed little resemblance to his beloved youth.”
Somehow “progeny” here seems to remote, detached. And “youth” tends to refer to boys rather than girls.
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Thanks for the helpful critique, Kate! I’ve made a few changes – hope it translates better:)
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Intriguing but sad…which means it was a really well done excerpt LOL!
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This is a fable I would love to read!
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This is going to be a good one! Great beginning.
History Sleuth’s Milk Carton Murders
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I love retellings of traditional fairy tales and myths and this is extremely gripping and well-written.
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Wow, I love the idea and the voice. Nicely done, Samantha. 🙂
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Wow. I just love this. This is fantastic, and I can’t wait to read more. Just my style!
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This has a great tone to it. It’s such a big story, and you share so much of it in so few sentences. Wonderful work.
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You have such a haunting way of writing, Sam. That last line is especially poignant. It strikes with suspense and I want to know what she’s going to do. Very nice.
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From the first sentence to the last–this was a great read. I’d love to read on. (:
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Excellent writing. Gave me chills.
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This is sucking me in. Such a great, dark beginning. Reminds me of The Monkey’s Paw http://gaslight.mtroyal.ca/mnkyspaw.htm
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